received a pull and bear package-broke down and subsequently jotted the feelings down
It’s the frustration ponytail when the room gets too hot. When I start to sweat out my private embarrassment of bearing a body. I wonder what went through my mind on the website, and why nothing ever looks as good on me. The instant calculation, a cross-contamination of thoughts of calories consumed, yet still cringing at the mention of a restrictive disorder on last nights criminal minds episode. A part of me divulges in hearing the details of another woman’s illness, comparing her habits and thus her body to mine.
That part researched restaurants for the upcoming trip away with my boyfriend, planning ahead what meals I’ll allow myself, and then researching the supermarkets nearby for the binge on chocolate later in the night.
When was the last time I was excited? I used to be a water baby, spending hours diving down like a dolphin, grazing my belly on the coarse coral beach sand. It’s swimsuit season but my legs never shrink in size. Two tree trunks rooted on dry land, I haven’t swum in years.
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